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I've experienced two very different deaths this week. One was an unexpected plane crash that ended in sudden death, shaking the very core of my family, our faiths, and our immortality. The other was prepared for, with final goodbyes and a quiet, peaceful death. My uncle's funeral brought people from all over Birmingham- by our estimates, there were about 400 people at the visitation and 600 people at the funeral itself (people started lining up for the 6- 8 p.m. visitation at 4:45 and people stopped filing in at 9). At my dog Cody's funeral today, there was just a handful of us- my parents, my brothers, our significant others, my grandmother, my two aunts, my great aunt Peggy, and Larry- 13 of us, all gathered around a hole that my dad had dug near the other animals we've buried. Two vastly different deaths, each one sacred and sorrowful in their own ways.
I am so incredibly grateful for the amount of support my family has received during my uncle's death. As my aunt and cousins process Brian's death, grieve, and begin to live a new life of "normalcy," I'm thankful for their church and their community. People are coming out of the woodwork to help- their neighborhood handed Aunt Traci an envelope with $2,500 cash in it last Sunday, less than a day after the plane crash. The waitresses at the BBQ where my uncle used to visit on his lunch break came to the visitation. My little cousin Hatty's bus driver has expressed her sorrow and offer to help in any way possible. The entire community, even people who didn't know my uncle, have come together over his death. He touched so many people and was loved by thousands. My grandmother, who is still grieving over the loss of her only son, has gotten support from family, friends, and her church. My aunts and my mom, who just lost their brother, have gotten support and love, too. My mom's boss, who has never met anyone in our family, drove out to Birmingham from Atlanta (a 3 hour drive) on Wednesday for the visitation. Even my brothers and I have gotten support, love, and cards. Y'all's words and prayers have meant so much to me and my family (and believe me, I've told them!).
My family experienced another loss this week. Cody's kidneys were failing and his body was giving out- he was having a hard time walking and hadn't eaten anything for five days. He knew it was time to go, but held on while we were at my uncle's funeral so we could all say goodbye to him. Yesterday, Dustin and I headed over to my parents' house to spend more time with Cody and spend the night. We met up with my brothers, my SIL Heather, uncle Larry, and my parents and spent time with Cody. My grandmother and my aunts (all from my dad's side) stopped by last night, too, and again this morning. Last night, I laid next to Cody on the floor for two hours, stroking his fur, talking to him, and thanking him for being such a wonderful dog, friend, companion, and brother all these years. Even though I've come to accept that this had to happen, it didn't make it hurt any less. Last night as I laid with him on the floor, I kept on thinking that he's so alive now but in a few hours, it'll all change.
This morning, Dad. Mom, Ben, and Lane (Ben's gf), piled into Dad's SUV. I climbed in the back with Cody. We went to the vet's office and pulled around to the back. Mom, Dad, Ben and Lane got out of the car and gathered around the back of the car, where Cody and I were still inside. Ben read Dog Heaven to us through his tears while the rest of us petted Cody one last time and cried. The vet came out, administered the drugs, and he was gone in less than a minute. He let out one last sigh of breath and then left this world forever. I felt like I owed it to him to be with him to the end. It was the least I could do for him after all the times he's been there for me.
We drove back to the farm. There, my family had gathered and we had a little funeral for him. My brothers, Dad, and I picked him him and put him into the grave Dad had dug on Monday. My aunt Cheryl said a few words, read a "altered" version of Ecclesiastes Ch. 3: 1-8: "And for Cody we add… a time for candy corn and a time for Chick-fil-a. A time to chase cats and a time to chase squirrels. A time for a good butt scratch and a time for sitting on the sofa. A time to wait for his family to come home and a time for leftovers from Outback.", and then we each said a few words about what a great dog he was. We scattered candy corn on top of his body, then covered him up with dirt.
"Cody, be a good friend to Brian." Mom said after we had finished.
Two very different beings, different deaths, and different funerals. All within the same week. I've lost my uncle and I've lost my dog. I'm heartbroken. As I was crying into my dad's shoulder today and wiping my nose on his shirt and neck (you know, like you do...), and crying into Mom's shoulder later, I told them both that I'm so over death right now and I don't want any more death for awhile. They both agreed. It's been a rough week for everyone.
"When dogs go to heaven, they don't need wings because God knows that dogs love running best." ~ Dog Heaven
I love and miss you both, Uncle Brian and Cody.
Alex and Uncle Brian
Cody
I am so incredibly grateful for the amount of support my family has received during my uncle's death. As my aunt and cousins process Brian's death, grieve, and begin to live a new life of "normalcy," I'm thankful for their church and their community. People are coming out of the woodwork to help- their neighborhood handed Aunt Traci an envelope with $2,500 cash in it last Sunday, less than a day after the plane crash. The waitresses at the BBQ where my uncle used to visit on his lunch break came to the visitation. My little cousin Hatty's bus driver has expressed her sorrow and offer to help in any way possible. The entire community, even people who didn't know my uncle, have come together over his death. He touched so many people and was loved by thousands. My grandmother, who is still grieving over the loss of her only son, has gotten support from family, friends, and her church. My aunts and my mom, who just lost their brother, have gotten support and love, too. My mom's boss, who has never met anyone in our family, drove out to Birmingham from Atlanta (a 3 hour drive) on Wednesday for the visitation. Even my brothers and I have gotten support, love, and cards. Y'all's words and prayers have meant so much to me and my family (and believe me, I've told them!).
My family experienced another loss this week. Cody's kidneys were failing and his body was giving out- he was having a hard time walking and hadn't eaten anything for five days. He knew it was time to go, but held on while we were at my uncle's funeral so we could all say goodbye to him. Yesterday, Dustin and I headed over to my parents' house to spend more time with Cody and spend the night. We met up with my brothers, my SIL Heather, uncle Larry, and my parents and spent time with Cody. My grandmother and my aunts (all from my dad's side) stopped by last night, too, and again this morning. Last night, I laid next to Cody on the floor for two hours, stroking his fur, talking to him, and thanking him for being such a wonderful dog, friend, companion, and brother all these years. Even though I've come to accept that this had to happen, it didn't make it hurt any less. Last night as I laid with him on the floor, I kept on thinking that he's so alive now but in a few hours, it'll all change.
This morning, Dad. Mom, Ben, and Lane (Ben's gf), piled into Dad's SUV. I climbed in the back with Cody. We went to the vet's office and pulled around to the back. Mom, Dad, Ben and Lane got out of the car and gathered around the back of the car, where Cody and I were still inside. Ben read Dog Heaven to us through his tears while the rest of us petted Cody one last time and cried. The vet came out, administered the drugs, and he was gone in less than a minute. He let out one last sigh of breath and then left this world forever. I felt like I owed it to him to be with him to the end. It was the least I could do for him after all the times he's been there for me.
We drove back to the farm. There, my family had gathered and we had a little funeral for him. My brothers, Dad, and I picked him him and put him into the grave Dad had dug on Monday. My aunt Cheryl said a few words, read a "altered" version of Ecclesiastes Ch. 3: 1-8: "And for Cody we add… a time for candy corn and a time for Chick-fil-a. A time to chase cats and a time to chase squirrels. A time for a good butt scratch and a time for sitting on the sofa. A time to wait for his family to come home and a time for leftovers from Outback.", and then we each said a few words about what a great dog he was. We scattered candy corn on top of his body, then covered him up with dirt.
"Cody, be a good friend to Brian." Mom said after we had finished.
Two very different beings, different deaths, and different funerals. All within the same week. I've lost my uncle and I've lost my dog. I'm heartbroken. As I was crying into my dad's shoulder today and wiping my nose on his shirt and neck (you know, like you do...), and crying into Mom's shoulder later, I told them both that I'm so over death right now and I don't want any more death for awhile. They both agreed. It's been a rough week for everyone.
"When dogs go to heaven, they don't need wings because God knows that dogs love running best." ~ Dog Heaven
I love and miss you both, Uncle Brian and Cody.
Alex and Uncle Brian
Cody
